When Advice is Not Necessary
I am writing this blog specifically for myself. I have the absolute terrible habit of trying to fix everybody’s problems by giving people advice.
What is even worse than this, I don’t even let them finish telling me their story when my inner voice goes on over drive and begins to either solve their problems myself or tell them how to do it. Bad, bad Jessica.
When someone is telling us their story, confiding in us; sometimes all they want is for us to listen. Plain and simple. Listen. Be present for them. Listen.
Give them a chance to say what’s on their mind. Then before you open your mouth think about the motivation leading you to say whatever it is you are going to say to them. Is it that you want to help them solve their issue? Is it because you look like you know everything and are supremely wise? Is it because there is something for you to gain by helping them? Is it that you want to feel good because you are doing something for someone?
Regardless. Don’t do it.
I battle each day with myself by saying: Listen. Let them finish. Listen. Wait to see where this is leading. Listen. Ask if you can help by giving your point of view do not automatically give yourself permission to do so.
If I can practice what I have just written, I will have conquered one of my monsters. So the advice I give myself…LISTEN.