“Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.” - Unknown
Nobody wants to be talked about behind their back. But in that stinging moment we discover that someone might not be singing our praises, we mustn’t forget that we are ultimately the ones that control the narrative of how people talk about us.
We have all experienced that moment when we learn that someone was speaking badly of us… talking about our character… our choices… our lives. As children, we’re taught not to speak badly of others, yet many adults grow up and do just that. Whether we like it or not, it’s a simply unavoidable fact of life. But that being said, perhaps we can change the script.
The solution here is two-fold. First, always do your best. When we do our best, say what we mean to say, be kind to others, be true to ourself, we establish a path for ourselves that we’re proud to walk on, and that others want to walk on, too. When we do something that goes off the path, maybe make a poor choice, say something unkind, etc., it’s up to each of us to make amends, to apologize to someone, to re-establish a habit, and so on. When we walk this path we are proud of, it doesn’t matter what someone might say when we are not there. We stand behind our choices, and others will see that.
The second solution is about the company you keep. If you are true to yourself, and make kind choices that you hold yourself accountable for, then what is there to speak badly of? The answer should be nothing. But if there are people around you who are speaking badly, perhaps the problem is not you, but those in your environment. In these situations, it’s up to each of us to reflect. Why could someone say these things? Are they pointing out something valid that we could improve? Or are their words more a reflection of themselves than they are of you?
For anyone who might have found themselves in a whirlwind of negativity lately, carve out some moments daily for self-reflection. Ask yourself what you do well, what you want to improve, and which people in your environment bring out the best in you? How can you map your own path that encourages you to be your best self, and invites wonderful friends into your existence?
Set your sights high, then go be it, BuDhaGirl.