When we go full throttle into problem solving mode for others without first thinking of what they might want we can get ourselves into some trouble.

The biggest problem we encounter is when we have solved someone’s problem and we do not receive the recognition for our actions, we blame them. The ingrates. How could they not appreciate what I have just done for them? Can’t they see that I care?

Maybe. Maybe not. You cannot be judge and jury for something you chose to do out of your own volition expecting tribute from someone that yes, benefitted by your action but maybe didn’t recognize that they wanted or needed it. Maybe if we only had removed our ego and just asked if we could help. Maybe if we were willing to hear that perhaps we can help, but under their conditions…ouch, another ego blow.

Opening our heart and mind to honest communication is probably a great first step to really wanting to help. Reaching out to our family and friends and asking: What do you need? I want to listen to you, then, if there is something I can do, I will do so.

This act of open dialogue can avoid disappointments, regrets, and triggering that inner voice that sometimes says to you: See, why did you get involved…why did you help? Look where it has gotten you?  I shouldn't have done that.

Be kind. Be caring. Carry out your actions…but do so always listening with your heart and mind.